Happy Mother's Day

Ehm....  I know its very late to talk about mother's day.. (...not that late i think..) but  late is better than never, right..?! 

Ok...We usually celebrate Mother's day on December 22nd. I already read the history of Mother's Day on internet and i got so many version ( i didn't read all that anyway because thats very long story). I really wanted to share it lil bit here but i am not sure to put it here, i can say that maybe it will make you bored. So, i decided to cancel it.

So... Do you love your mother..?! i bet you will say "YES" if u dont say that you must have a reason then..!!

if someone asks me " Do you Love your mother " i will answer " No, i don't love her, but i really really love her !!"

I can't explain you how much i love my mother, but i can explain you lil bit about my mother...

She is very lovely woman, of course she is my mother...!! but i have so many reason why i could say that..

• First, She is a good mother. She really loved me  even she loved my step brother and step sisters although they didn't have good attitude to her. sometimes my mother ignored me just for them, it made me jealous at that moment but i never said that to my mother. She always tried to give her best for her children especially for me... 
• Second, She is a good wife, although  i was young at that moment but  i could see that my mother is a good wife. She always prepared lunch and dinner for my father, why only lunch and dinner because my father never took a breakfast. he worked since 2 am till 10 am. maybe it was such a small thing but it could be an indication that my mother is a good wife . my father didn't like spicy food but rest of our family loved spicy food. my father never asked my mother to cook different food for him, never... ! every day when my mother prepared lunch or dinner for my father, she always took all chilies from his plate patiently and then served it to my father. i know guys maybe you will think thats kinda stupid indication but when you see that, i bet you would say the same.
• Third, She is a good neighbor. well....  my mother loved cooking and all her food were delicious. she sold many kinds of food, indonesian foods and all her customer loved it. but sadly sometimes my mother was lazy to sell food when she was tired and she would stop it, but she never stopped cooking. when she cooked many foods, she always shared it to our neighbors without payment and my mother always cared to our poor neighbors, not only food even more.
• Forth, She is simple woman. my mother never wore too much make-up, she just lil bit care with her curly hair ( she loved it ) and she was not tipically glamour woman. she didnt like wore lot of jewelry like our neighbours did. she prefered to give all that things to me but i was lil bit tomboy and i didn't like wear some jewelers.
• Last, She is funny. some people said that i am almost like my mother... never stopped talking and joking.. well those nice things, right ?

Still many things that i can tell you about my mother but it will be too much..i wanna say that my mom is awesome...........!!

I am sure you guys have a great story about your mother..... because without our mother we are not here now..!!

Actually, i never said Happy Mother's Day to my mother because at that time i didn't know about Mother's Day and i was so small. 

Now.. when i know about everything... when i can feel clearly about everything.... i realize she is not here, she is not with me anymore....

December 22nd 2010... i woke up at 2:30 am and i felt so guilty to my mom.... i looked at the "sky" of my room.... that was only white... nothing more nothing less..!! 

I ONLY COULD SAY TO THAT "SKY" ... 

"I LOVE YOU MOM, WISH YOU ARE HAPPY THERE.... I LOVE YOU.. I LOVE YOU MOM.... HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY.... YOU ARE THE BEST MOTHER IN THE WORLD.. THANKS FOR EVERYTHING, MOM... I LOVE YOU " 

then I closed my eyes and tried to sleep again............ 

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I feel my cheeks are wet now..it has been 9 years i live without my mother.... i really miss her .. and i am so sad because till now i can't be a good daughter for her even when she still alive. 

i am so sorry mom... i am so sorry...........

Wish you were here now with me.... 

LOVE YOU MOM..!!